The infamous goblin warlord responsible for wreaking havoc upon our great kingdom of Arkhosia has been killed by a group of adventurers, the militia has revealed in an official statement. “The self-proclaimed ‘Goblin King Of Arkhosia’ was slain in his manor (originally belonging to human inhabitants, before the dreaded Goblin King’s minions invaded the district) last night at around 7PM, his severed head subsequently delivered to me by those responsible for this brave act of justice.” said Captain Alirnon Bovir of the city guard. “The four adventurers responsible for ending this tyrant’s reign of terror have been paid handsomely for their services, and I’ll be sure to hire them to aid us in some other matters.” he continued.
“Oh, ‘twas a wonderful killin’ experience!” proclaimed Vozerlet a (most likely incredibly intoxicated, at the time that we approached him for an interview) member of the heroic party of adventurers. “We killed a guy that everyone hates, and we got free booze for it! And gold as well! This is the best thing ever, my man. Best thing ever.” We left our interview with Vozerlet when he started breathing large amounts of electricity in our general vicinity.
The cleric known as Lil’ Frankie was also proud of her role in the beheading of the miniscule terror. “What a horse’s ass! But we gave him what for, we did! Because we’re better than him. He was good, right, but nothing beats us. ‘Specially me. I’m the best of the lot. Those ghosts did help a lil’ bit, though…” Before she had the chance to elaborate on this, she drunkenly collapsed to the floor of the tavern in which the party had been celebrating their victory.
Whilst we could not find one of the members of this adventuring team, we did talk briefly to the final member of this band, Roger. He told us “You should have seen the fires I made!”, about fifteen times over the course of the evening, and as such, we assume he aided through some kind of fire.
While none of the adventurers possessed the level of sobriety required to coherently recount their quest or the actions that led to the death of the Goblin King, the fact that Arkhosia has been blessed with a new team of heroes at the time we need them the most is certainly a worthy cause of celebration.
Shyet Systafter is a Half-Elven bard working in the city of Arkhosia. He lives with a cat named Butler, and this strange person known as his “Wife”. He enjoys sandwiches.